Battling Gender Issues at Home

“We've begun to raise daughters more like sons... but few have the courage to raise our sons more like our daughters.” 

 Gender Issue is not new to us, it has been on for generation. People have recognized it, protested against and fought for equal rights in the streets. However, battle gets defeated at home, each time, every time!

Gender Issue roots from discrimination, where woman are not allowed to behave in a same manner as men. It takes form of inequality, where they are deprived of same share of savories as their brothers and fathers, same standard of schooling as their male siblings  and same right of dwelling and living in the house, especially after their marriage.  Even where a woman is facing violence at their marital home, most of the mothers ask their daughters to 'adjust'.

Long back, I had written on domestic violence, that it has penetrated in all sections of society. Woman every where, from a 'Basti" to Buckimgham Palace, have faced violence in their homes. 

Gender inequality has hence taken many form and perpetrators have not been only men but also women . It is difficult to blame men alone for this, Some where we 'women' have failed miserably. Despite being a rebel ourselves, we have taught our daughters to stay subdued and to "adjust" to societal norms.  Instead of preparing our daughters to take our silent mission forward and our sons to un-become the devils we have faced in our lives, we have prepared our daughters to succumb to those battle!

Not to say that things have not become become better -- education for woman is not a dream of past, but a natural progression for many middle class households.

 However, not to contest, higher education has never come easy for women, they had to prove their merit, unlike many sons who despite not having any merit, are pushed into it. 

Well, I am not generalizing and its is only my perception, formed from my own experiences and experiences of people in around me. 

When I look back, I realize how my mother who cared 'less' for us as kids, made me a stronger woman today! She did not discriminate when she distributed chocolates or sweets; if equal distribution was not possible, she did the grace of eating herself and ending any contest (kidding!) One thing she did good was not to treat any man in the family above her(or below). She did cook but not with any intention to please her husband or kids but to please herself. She maintained her freedom to do her bit, walked alone and kept up her individuality despite  all odds!  Her career was her foremost mission. Likewise, as I grew up, she gave me the freedom to take my decisions, stood by me in my so called deviant behaviour.  She gave me freedom, right from choosing my career to my orientation!,  When I got married, she told me," marriage is one of the chapter that you write in your book of life and not the only chapter; Come back if you are not treated well , though you must try to give your best as you always do." 

 Had this woman not been with me in my decisions, I believe that combating the gender discrimination would not have been easier! But Alas! Only if I had to live with her forever. But I have learnt my lesson well. I will take her mission forward.

I strongly believe that if the discrimination has to end, the effort  has to come mostly from woman and the battle begins at home. Right from molding our sons to think right and respect women including those who are not their mothers and sisters, to treating our daughters and daughter in laws at par with the men in their family.  

Woman must not always conform, but perform, as per her free will.